It's sorta like a shower....(Days 2 and 3)

I couldn't, well, I could have, but I didn't really want to, blog yesterday about this cleanse, because frankly, after the night I had, this was the last thing that I wanted to talk about.

A Monday night meal with friends, a mere 15 of them, turned into a blinding headache, and an annoyance level that would have caused the Hulk to burst out of his clothes.

I went out for a friends birthday, knowing full well that there would be food and alcohol galore and that I would be faced with more temptation than Vegas. The difference between this place and Vegas: I didn't turn down any temptation there. Oh man...Vegas....good times....great times...wonderful times in Vegas....hot weather...hot men....nice pool...nice men....jumpin' clubs....jumpin' men.....oh how I wish to go back...but I digress.

The shots were flowing, the food was a sizzlin', and I was sitting in the corner..clutching my bottle of lemons, pepper and syrup, and downing what seemed like 3,344 glasses of water to keep my mind and my stomach occupied.

And it seemed to work. I RESISTED temptation. Me: 1. stupid restaurant: 0

Woke up the next morning, and the Wii Fit told me that I'm down 4 pounds!! holler!!

Yes, I know, any idiot knows that this is merely water weight and not to get too excited, but I don't care. 4 pounds is NOT IN MY BODY anymore.

Day 2 came and went, and I did my best to occupy my time. And I think I did this quite well. It's amazing what a diversion a naked man in your bed will do to you. Too much? Ah, who cares.

I must say that the SWF didn't have nearly the same effects on me as it did on Day 1, but that's probably because there was nothing left to flush out. I'm a pretty regular human being the way it is, so I think my body does a good job of keeping me clean. Again, too much?

This morning (Day 3), the morning routine of the SWF seemed quite normal, as I stood over the sink, trying my best not to puke anything up, while plugging my nose and inhaling this water.

However, this morning was different. My roommate was home. And she decided that the best time to take a shower, was when my bowel wanted to unleash some ferociousness on me. And when I say shower, I should say "a thorough cleansing in water for 5 hours." This girl takes the longest showers known to man. Or maybe it just seemed like that today.

I did the potty dance around my office for what seemed like a few days, when I heard the water turn off. I burst in there, all the while clenching my buttcheeks so that nothing would trickle on the carpet (who would want to clean that up?) and made it to the toilet just in time!!

My friend "Russ" told me that it feels like a shower coming out of your butt. Today, I would agree Russ. I would definitely agree. Today it was like 45 showers coming out of my butt. So fresh and so clean.

I'm off to a movie.

Heres to hoping that the faucet is turned off so that I can enjoy some Meryl Streep and Alex Baldwin.

(Day 3 results: Biggest Loser = -2 pounds Wii Fit = -2.9 pounds HOLLER! )